"summer of eleven, its gonna be heaven" has officially (or unofficially depending on how you look at it) begun...yay!!!!
i spent the weekend down the shore...overall it was a really fun weekend...there were lots of people here...some drama that i tried to stay out of...and lots of laughs...i dont think i laughed so hard so many days in a row in a while...and thats saying a lot cause i laugh all the time...but now i am exahusted...sitting out in the sun all day really takes a lot outta ya...haha!...good thing i have off from work all week...i am so excited to sleep in everyday and do whatever i want all day...yess!!!
i saw the hangover part 2 saturday night...sooo funny!!!...if you havent seen it yet then you should go right now!!!...my advice to you is to go into it with an open mind...dont expect there to be a thought provoking plot...cause there isnt one...its exactly the same plot line as the first one...but know what? it doesnt matter...it was still laugh after laugh!!! it was awesome!!!...im laughing now just thinking about it!!...haha!!!!!
and finally you didnt think i would drop this crush bomb on you last time and then not say anything about it did you???...haha!!!!...so i think im gonna stick with clark kent...it just works...if you ever saw him you would be like hes totally not clark kent at all...but it really does work...and he can totally turn out to be my very own superman!...well thats the plan at least...haha!!... ; )
but of course theres a problem already...so heres the story...clark kent is going to aruba in september for a wedding...and ever since we found out about this wedding cool girl and i have been tellin sports guy to tell him to take us to aruba with him...cool girl was a little more vocal about wanting to go to aruba than i was so sports guys finally said something to clark kent...but he only mentioned her...which at the time i was totally okay with that cause i didnt admit to myself that i actually liked him and really wanted to go...since that first time sports guys said something a few weeks ago nothing else was said...
as you know thursday is when i realized that i am totally crushin on clark kent...friday sports guy came back from lunch and told us that he finally followed up about aruba...the way he made it sound is that clark kent is totally into taking cool girl to the wedding...noooo....so this means that they had an actual conversation about her and it seems like he asked a lot of questions and stuff...so now it would be weird to say oh no, not her, the other one...ugh...just my luck...but i guess its my fault...i could have totally said something earlier...but in true ashley fashion i kept my mouth shut...ugh...why am i so lame?!...haha!!...
yeah so now im not really too sure what to do...i guess im going to have to let sports guy know that all jokes aside i actually want to go out with clark kent...but thats just a really weird conversation to have...it would be like telling your uncle or something...like its okay if he knew but i dont know if i could tell him...i dont know...does that even make sense?!?...haha!!!...but i think thats the only way to move this along...because keep in mind we've never actually met...so yeah this whole thing is kindda weird...well i like i said earlier i have a whole week off from work...so i have some time to think about it...we shall see what happens!...fingers crossed it works out!!! =)
well i must be going now...i hope everyone had a fantabulous weekend!!!
(i dont know why but spell check isnt working so sorry for any mistakes!)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
new crush
well....the day has finally come for me to say that im pretty sure i have a new crush...haha!...i feel like im at my most entertaining when im boy crazy...(maybe not, i dont know...what do you think???)...i havent talked much about boys since concert guy moved...and that was in the fall...so its been a while...i think its about time to get back into the spirit...summers coming and its always fun for me to imagine having that perfect summer romance...haha!
the reason i say pretty sure is because while ive never intentionally thought of him in a crushy sorta way, hes always been in the back of my mind as a possibility...(and by always i mean the few years ive known who he was)...but now im realizing that based on what i know we would actually be a good match...and now when i see him i lose my breath a little and get that quick butterfly feeling...ya know what i mean?!...but what makes this tricky is i dont even know him!...i mean i feel like i know him but we've never even spoken to each other...he probably doesnt even know my name...haha!...
so now im sure youre wondering how i feel like i know him if we've never met...the answer to that is easy: sports guy!...sports guy is a chatty cathy and talks about him all the time...cool girl and i know everything about him...haha!...we seem to have pretty similar personalities...
i feel like this is a guy that could actually work out...i think before i was always setting myself up for disaster...i think i was scared and subconsciously sabotaging myself...of course im still scared but i think im finally ready to take a real risk...or at least talk about taking a real risk...haha!
now the problem is how do i approach this???...cool girl and i are always joking about dating him but now i really do want to date him...so its weird...i dont know what to say...hmmm....anytime an opportunity comes up for me to say something about it i chicken out per usual...its gonna be tough to actually do something about this...
but for now i guess the only thing left to do is give him a cool blog name...oh man i have no idea what it should be...think...think...i got nothin...ill think about it some more and let you know what i come up with in my next post...
edit:: after talking with cool girl she suggested his cool blog name be clark kent...it totally works (even though he looks nothing like clark kent...haha!)...so clark kent it is...maybe ill shorten it some to clarky...wait that kinda sounds like a dog...haha!!...or maybe CK...or maybe ill just leave it as clark kent...i dont know...ugh...why am i so wishy washy?!?...haha!!!
well until next time happy blogging!!! =)
the reason i say pretty sure is because while ive never intentionally thought of him in a crushy sorta way, hes always been in the back of my mind as a possibility...(and by always i mean the few years ive known who he was)...but now im realizing that based on what i know we would actually be a good match...and now when i see him i lose my breath a little and get that quick butterfly feeling...ya know what i mean?!...but what makes this tricky is i dont even know him!...i mean i feel like i know him but we've never even spoken to each other...he probably doesnt even know my name...haha!...
so now im sure youre wondering how i feel like i know him if we've never met...the answer to that is easy: sports guy!...sports guy is a chatty cathy and talks about him all the time...cool girl and i know everything about him...haha!...we seem to have pretty similar personalities...
i feel like this is a guy that could actually work out...i think before i was always setting myself up for disaster...i think i was scared and subconsciously sabotaging myself...of course im still scared but i think im finally ready to take a real risk...or at least talk about taking a real risk...haha!
now the problem is how do i approach this???...cool girl and i are always joking about dating him but now i really do want to date him...so its weird...i dont know what to say...hmmm....anytime an opportunity comes up for me to say something about it i chicken out per usual...its gonna be tough to actually do something about this...
but for now i guess the only thing left to do is give him a cool blog name...oh man i have no idea what it should be...think...think...i got nothin...ill think about it some more and let you know what i come up with in my next post...
edit:: after talking with cool girl she suggested his cool blog name be clark kent...it totally works (even though he looks nothing like clark kent...haha!)...so clark kent it is...maybe ill shorten it some to clarky...wait that kinda sounds like a dog...haha!!...or maybe CK...or maybe ill just leave it as clark kent...i dont know...ugh...why am i so wishy washy?!?...haha!!!
well until next time happy blogging!!! =)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
long drive
well its 11:50 on friday night and im on my way to providence for little sister's graduation...im a little bit tired and a lot bit bored...haha!...bib sis is asleep in the back seat and my poppy is driving...and we all know how chatty he is...haha! (for those of you who dont know, my dad is a man of very few words)...i kept the conversation going for almost 2 hours...now im out of things to say...now we're sitting quietly in the car...and we still have about an hour left...so i thought to myself "self, what should i do know? hmm...i know! i'll write in my handy dandy blog!"...haha!
i dont really have anything of importance to say so this is probably ganna be a pretty rambley entry...maybe not...who knows!...wow...i dont even know what i should ramble about...hmmm...nope no ideas...i guess i could give a run down of some of the things ive got coming up this summer...yeah thats what ill do...
memorial day is right around the corner and with that the summer of eleven its gonna be heaven will begin...hiw is it almost summer already i feel like it was just summer of ten like yesterday...well anyway with mdw comes the first party of the summer...of course its gonna be great just like all of our parties dts!...what makes it even better this year is that i took that whole week off for my mandatory week of vacay...so no rushin back to work on tuesday...yesss!!!
june 2 i will be heading to mohegan sun with little sister for our first of 5 nkotBSB concerts!!!...less than 2 weeks away!...im so excited...this tour is gonna be huge and if you arent going than you are def missing out!!!...besides mohegan we'll be going to both izods, then to houston, and finally hershey park...ive signed up to make video diaries of each show...we'll see how that goes...ive never tried to edit a video together before...it should be interesting...haha!...if they come out somewhat successful i will attempt to post them here...
lets see...what else does the summer hold for me??? oh ill be planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for the princess...that should be interesting...shes not geting married until december but i think the parties are gonna be in august sometime...so we gotta get crackin with the plans...
and then of course all the other weekends ill be dts! woot woot!!!...i cant wait!...even though we dont really do much while down there i still feel like im doing something instead of staying at home...
oh and also im doing the lose it all challange...im competing against some other girls going on BSBcruise2011...week 2 just ended and im in last place!...what?!...i better step up my game if i wanna win...i must admit that its the first time that ive actively tried to drop some lbs...its really hard...ugh!...hopefully i can get my act together and win this thing!! =)
oh look at that i just killed a half hour! yay!...haha!!...well i guess ill stop here...maybe ill close my eyes for a little bit...
i hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!!!
p.s- since im not home to edit this on a real computer its getting posted spelling mistakes and all!...haha! ; )
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
tough weekend
this past weekend i went to the shore to celebrate big sister's birthday...we went to the tiki bar which was fun...then later we went back to the house and thats when things turned real ugly real fast...
as you know (well at least i think you do) being chronically single is a very sensitive subject for me...i hate every part about it...and the fact that ive never even been on a date nor have i ever been kissed makes the whole thing even worse (and more embarrassing!) for me...its something that i think about EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!...most days i push it to the back of my mind and continue to live my life without it bringing my spirits down...but some days i cant push it away...saturday was one of those days...
it all started when f.u.n. brought up this story about adele...basically she said adele tried online dating using a fake name and no one wanted to date her because of her weight....well thats great...if freaking adele cant find a date how am i ever going to find one...why do guys have to be so shallow???...i have no interest in hearing stories like this one...it just makes me upset and feel like there is no hope for me and i will be alone forever...but in stead of freaking out after f.u.n. told the story i simply said what a terrible story and left the room...i tried to forget about it...
later on that night she decided it was necessary to tell the story again...before she even started i said please dont tell the story i dont like it...but she just had to tell it anyway...this time i couldnt just ignore it...i couldnt push back the tears anymore...
once they started to flow i couldnt stop them...it was uncontrollable...anytime anyone said anything i felt worse and more tears came...of course they werent saying just random things...no, they had to talk about being in love and how great it is...ugh....i wanted to scream "umm hello! im a mess right now because ive never been in love....now is not the time to say its awesome"....but of course i couldnt talk cause a) its extremely tough for me to actually say whats wrong and b) i would have just cried more if the words came out...
on top of that everyone was having their own issues that night...so then i felt bad cause my problems arent as bad as theirs...in fact they are pretty trivial...and yet i was the only one sitting there sobbing...i felt bad and then i felt stupid and it just led to more tears...but then i thought these feeling are real to me...they arent stupid...so why should i feel bad that this is how i feel...
i hate getting to the point when i cant stop crying...its awful...but sometimes it needs to happen...i need to let it out...i just get so sad thinking about the realistic possibility of being alone forever...it hurts my heart...its just soo hard to feel like nobody wants you...i guess the best way to describe it is i feel like im lost at sea on a teeny tiny boat...just drifting along all by myself...hoping and prying that one day someone will come rescue me...but no one ever comes...why is no one coming? where is my rescue boat i so desperately want???...its so lonely out here... =/
i dont want to cry over this time and time again...but reality is that i probably will...i was doing pretty good today but just writing all this out is bringing up all these emotions again...oh boy...*deep breath*...the really sad part is that i do absolutely nothing to change it...i could try online dating...but i dont...i could go out more to try to meet someone...but i dont...hey i could even tell sports guy at work to to set me up with his friend who works downstairs...but i dont...my life so far has shown me that boys want nothing to do with me...so its hard to put myself out there when im 99.9% sure that rejection will follow (i hate rejection!!)...its so much easier to sit at home and cry about it...ugh...im so lame...
im so sorry that ive been so doom and gloom lately...but this is the only outlet i have where i say how i truly feel...i find it a little easier to write the hard stuff than to say it...ya know....
but no worries...i will be okay...and i have some exciting things coming up this summer...so hopefully ill get talk about all of them and you can hear only happiness coming from this blog from now on...
love you all!!! <3 <3 <3
as you know (well at least i think you do) being chronically single is a very sensitive subject for me...i hate every part about it...and the fact that ive never even been on a date nor have i ever been kissed makes the whole thing even worse (and more embarrassing!) for me...its something that i think about EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!...most days i push it to the back of my mind and continue to live my life without it bringing my spirits down...but some days i cant push it away...saturday was one of those days...
it all started when f.u.n. brought up this story about adele...basically she said adele tried online dating using a fake name and no one wanted to date her because of her weight....well thats great...if freaking adele cant find a date how am i ever going to find one...why do guys have to be so shallow???...i have no interest in hearing stories like this one...it just makes me upset and feel like there is no hope for me and i will be alone forever...but in stead of freaking out after f.u.n. told the story i simply said what a terrible story and left the room...i tried to forget about it...
later on that night she decided it was necessary to tell the story again...before she even started i said please dont tell the story i dont like it...but she just had to tell it anyway...this time i couldnt just ignore it...i couldnt push back the tears anymore...
once they started to flow i couldnt stop them...it was uncontrollable...anytime anyone said anything i felt worse and more tears came...of course they werent saying just random things...no, they had to talk about being in love and how great it is...ugh....i wanted to scream "umm hello! im a mess right now because ive never been in love....now is not the time to say its awesome"....but of course i couldnt talk cause a) its extremely tough for me to actually say whats wrong and b) i would have just cried more if the words came out...
on top of that everyone was having their own issues that night...so then i felt bad cause my problems arent as bad as theirs...in fact they are pretty trivial...and yet i was the only one sitting there sobbing...i felt bad and then i felt stupid and it just led to more tears...but then i thought these feeling are real to me...they arent stupid...so why should i feel bad that this is how i feel...
i hate getting to the point when i cant stop crying...its awful...but sometimes it needs to happen...i need to let it out...i just get so sad thinking about the realistic possibility of being alone forever...it hurts my heart...its just soo hard to feel like nobody wants you...i guess the best way to describe it is i feel like im lost at sea on a teeny tiny boat...just drifting along all by myself...hoping and prying that one day someone will come rescue me...but no one ever comes...why is no one coming? where is my rescue boat i so desperately want???...its so lonely out here... =/
i dont want to cry over this time and time again...but reality is that i probably will...i was doing pretty good today but just writing all this out is bringing up all these emotions again...oh boy...*deep breath*...the really sad part is that i do absolutely nothing to change it...i could try online dating...but i dont...i could go out more to try to meet someone...but i dont...hey i could even tell sports guy at work to to set me up with his friend who works downstairs...but i dont...my life so far has shown me that boys want nothing to do with me...so its hard to put myself out there when im 99.9% sure that rejection will follow (i hate rejection!!)...its so much easier to sit at home and cry about it...ugh...im so lame...
im so sorry that ive been so doom and gloom lately...but this is the only outlet i have where i say how i truly feel...i find it a little easier to write the hard stuff than to say it...ya know....
but no worries...i will be okay...and i have some exciting things coming up this summer...so hopefully ill get talk about all of them and you can hear only happiness coming from this blog from now on...
love you all!!! <3 <3 <3
Monday, May 2, 2011
2nd annual birthday bash!
as you may or may not know my birthday is coming up on friday!!! AHHHHH!!!...the big two six!...im excited but im still freaking out just a tad on the inside...but thats not what im here to talk about...i want to talk about this past weekend and my awesome birthday bash!!!
it wasnt out of control like last year when we had burgers flying all over the place (yess actual burgers were being thrown...haha!)...but it was still a ton of fun!!!...there was also a lot less people there this year...which probably contributed to the less wild vibe...haha!...but the people who were in attendance this year are good quality people and i love all of them! <3...
well i guess a recap would be nice...right?!
it really wasnt a super nice day down the shore...so we kinda bummed around all day...i had plans of doing my hair nice and actually wearing make up but since everyone was so relaxed i just said "eh, why bother?...birthday party in sweats! even better!!!"...haha!!!
we watched mean girls...i know a lot of people love it but to me its just okay...it def has some really great lines but im not in love with it as a whole...next we put in the hangover...which i love but i didnt really feel like watching movies any more...so while some were watching cait and i moved to the kitchen and proceeded to do old choreo...i love doing old dances with cait but its been a while so we were beat after a few...back in the day we could have gone all night...haha!...we took a small breather outside and when we came back in everyone was playing cards...i always like watching the card games...i think the never have i ever segment of kings is my fav...you learn so much about people...and whats even better is kings always turns into just never have i ever...haha!...and just an fyi i rock at never have i ever...i cant lose!!!...except for those tricky backwards questions...and people saying things like "never have i ever been on a backstreet boys cruise"...those get me every time!...haha!!! (wait...is that a good thing?!?...haha!)...
well thats pretty much it...it might sound lame but if you were there you would agree that it was not lame...everyone had a great time!!!!...and more importantly i had a great time!!! =)
the only thing i regret is that i didnt follow through with the plan i had set in my head involving blla...the mayor told me i should go for it because he already leaked the plan to blla the night before (or that morning im not sure or maybe he didnt leak the plan...i really dont know now...hmmm)...but of course i didnt (big surprise right?)...there really wasnt a good time to bring it up so i didnt...and im clearly not going to force the issue...maybe another time...the plan isnt completely off the table so we shall see what happens in the future...im gonna say that im still hopeful...haha!!! =)
and thats about it...my guests suggested that i have a birthday every year...so i said hey, if im gonna have a birthday every year there should be a bash to go along with them!...youre hearing it here first mark your calendars for my 3rd annual birthday bash...may 5 2012!!!...its gonna be a good one so try not to miss it!!! haha!!!!
i hope everyone had an awesome weekend too!!!
love ya! <3
it wasnt out of control like last year when we had burgers flying all over the place (yess actual burgers were being thrown...haha!)...but it was still a ton of fun!!!...there was also a lot less people there this year...which probably contributed to the less wild vibe...haha!...but the people who were in attendance this year are good quality people and i love all of them! <3...
well i guess a recap would be nice...right?!
it really wasnt a super nice day down the shore...so we kinda bummed around all day...i had plans of doing my hair nice and actually wearing make up but since everyone was so relaxed i just said "eh, why bother?...birthday party in sweats! even better!!!"...haha!!!
we watched mean girls...i know a lot of people love it but to me its just okay...it def has some really great lines but im not in love with it as a whole...next we put in the hangover...which i love but i didnt really feel like watching movies any more...so while some were watching cait and i moved to the kitchen and proceeded to do old choreo...i love doing old dances with cait but its been a while so we were beat after a few...back in the day we could have gone all night...haha!...we took a small breather outside and when we came back in everyone was playing cards...i always like watching the card games...i think the never have i ever segment of kings is my fav...you learn so much about people...and whats even better is kings always turns into just never have i ever...haha!...and just an fyi i rock at never have i ever...i cant lose!!!...except for those tricky backwards questions...and people saying things like "never have i ever been on a backstreet boys cruise"...those get me every time!...haha!!! (wait...is that a good thing?!?...haha!)...
well thats pretty much it...it might sound lame but if you were there you would agree that it was not lame...everyone had a great time!!!!...and more importantly i had a great time!!! =)
the only thing i regret is that i didnt follow through with the plan i had set in my head involving blla...the mayor told me i should go for it because he already leaked the plan to blla the night before (or that morning im not sure or maybe he didnt leak the plan...i really dont know now...hmmm)...but of course i didnt (big surprise right?)...there really wasnt a good time to bring it up so i didnt...and im clearly not going to force the issue...maybe another time...the plan isnt completely off the table so we shall see what happens in the future...im gonna say that im still hopeful...haha!!! =)
and thats about it...my guests suggested that i have a birthday every year...so i said hey, if im gonna have a birthday every year there should be a bash to go along with them!...youre hearing it here first mark your calendars for my 3rd annual birthday bash...may 5 2012!!!...its gonna be a good one so try not to miss it!!! haha!!!!
i hope everyone had an awesome weekend too!!!
love ya! <3
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