after tuesday's encounter with clark kent, i couldnt stop thinking about it...i thought about what i should have said...i thought about what could have happened if i opened my mouth...i thought about what i could do to make next time better...i thought about everything....but mostly i thought...what is the matter with me?!?...i decided nothing would ever happen if i didnt do something about it...
so thursday night i finally broke down and told sports guy about my crush on clark kent...lets just say it didnt go as i had hoped...he pretty much said its a no go...ugh!...at first i was bummed out a little, i thought oh well ill just add him to the long list of crushes that went no where *sigh*...but then as the night went on and i had time to process what sports guy said, i got more and more upset...i even cried a little (not completely because of this but it was def a factor)...it makes my heart hurt that i have a long list of crushes that went no where...and it just plain old sucks!!!!!
so what now?...i dont want to continue letting this guy consume my thoughts if nothings ever gonna happen...so i have to get over him...it sounds simple but it will take some time for me to completely stop thinking about what could have been...in the mean time i will do the same thing i always do, i will pick myself up and continue to move forward the best i can...im gonna be okay, alright, fine...
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
perfect opportunity down the drain
this morning i was presented with the perfect opportunity to make some sort of social contact with clark kent...and what did i do?...nothing!!!...ugh!!!...cue story time...
as you know i go to the caf every morning to get breakfast with sports guy and super genius...on our way back i noticed clark kent walking in front of us...sports guy said "look, its your boy"...not sure if he was joking because he always says stuff like that or if he knows that yes, he is my current fobo...haha...well anyway...i got super nervous...you know butterflies in the stomach, shortness of breath, sweaty palm...the usual...haha!...i tried to continue with the conversation i was having without looking too obvious...it was tough...haha!
so we caught up to clark kent when we reached the elevators...he held the door for us...so i got on and said "thanks"...and then he proceeded to talk to sports guy about last night's jets game...and here is where my perfect opportunity was...im a jets fan...i watched the game...i could have said plenty of things about it...and yet i said nothing...NOTHING!!!!...the whole time i was screaming inside my head to say something, anything...but nope, it didnt happen...ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!...the worst part (or best depending on how you look at it) is 2 minutes earlier i said all the same exact things about the game that he did...it would have been so easy for me to just agree with him...and still nothing came out...ugh!!...
im so disappointed in myself...everything about the moment was perfect (we even matched...haha!)...and yet i choked under pressure...i just couldnt do it...i know that one stupid elevator conversation wont magically make him fall in love with me...but if i cant even have one stupid elevator conversation then how am i supposed to have a real conversation???...
why does this happen to me?...im so jealous of the people who can just say whatever they want to whoever they want any time they want...i wish i could be that girl...but its just so hard...
so there you have it ladies and gentlemen...my big in person speaking debut was "thanks"...womp womp!!!...well theres always next time!! (and i guess "thanks" is beeter than nothin!...haha!)
as you know i go to the caf every morning to get breakfast with sports guy and super genius...on our way back i noticed clark kent walking in front of us...sports guy said "look, its your boy"...not sure if he was joking because he always says stuff like that or if he knows that yes, he is my current fobo...haha...well anyway...i got super nervous...you know butterflies in the stomach, shortness of breath, sweaty palm...the usual...haha!...i tried to continue with the conversation i was having without looking too obvious...it was tough...haha!
so we caught up to clark kent when we reached the elevators...he held the door for us...so i got on and said "thanks"...and then he proceeded to talk to sports guy about last night's jets game...and here is where my perfect opportunity was...im a jets fan...i watched the game...i could have said plenty of things about it...and yet i said nothing...NOTHING!!!!...the whole time i was screaming inside my head to say something, anything...but nope, it didnt happen...ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!...the worst part (or best depending on how you look at it) is 2 minutes earlier i said all the same exact things about the game that he did...it would have been so easy for me to just agree with him...and still nothing came out...ugh!!...
im so disappointed in myself...everything about the moment was perfect (we even matched...haha!)...and yet i choked under pressure...i just couldnt do it...i know that one stupid elevator conversation wont magically make him fall in love with me...but if i cant even have one stupid elevator conversation then how am i supposed to have a real conversation???...
why does this happen to me?...im so jealous of the people who can just say whatever they want to whoever they want any time they want...i wish i could be that girl...but its just so hard...
so there you have it ladies and gentlemen...my big in person speaking debut was "thanks"...womp womp!!!...well theres always next time!! (and i guess "thanks" is beeter than nothin!...haha!)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
would you rather? bsb cruise edition
earlier today i was reading laura's super awesome bsb cruise blog...her latest post asked a bunch of would you rather questions...so i decided to steal them and answer them here...so here goes nothin!!!
play blackjack with aj or go clubbing with him?
clubbing!...i know there would be little opportunity for chatting but imagine dancing in the club with aj...how cool would that be...and i talking about dancing right next to him...i would have to show off my best moves!...haha!
get a hug from your favorite or get autographs from all 4 of the guys?
HUG!!!! i already have their autographs...and they are pretty easy to get these days...all you have to do is go to vip for a concert...but a hug...those are a little tougher to get...im still havent gotten the elusive hug...*sigh*...one of these days!
play basketball with brian or jet ski with brian?
basketball!...im not the greatest basketball player but i think it would create a lot of fun interaction with brian...also if your out in the ocean on jet skis you might not even be close to brian...unless of course we're talking about ridding on the back of the jet ski brian is driving...cause in that case i would totally change my answer!!!...haha!
get a bonus concert or a Q and A session thats twice as long?
Q and A...ive been to lots of concerts and ill go to lots more...but listening to them answering fan questions for hours is not something that happens too often...im always interested in what they have to say...and it also lets us see their personalities more!
workout with nick in the gym or eat breakfast with him?
breakfast...i feel like he would be very intense in the gym and thats just not for me (haha!)...i love breakfast and to be able to sit down and and eat it with nick would be even better...
take a workout class taught by nick or a dance class taught by aj?
if you dont know my answer to this question then you dont know me at all...haha!!!...dance class of course!!!!!...this one really is a no brainer for me...taking a dance class taught by any one of the boys would be a dream come true!!!!
get picked to participate in one of the game shows or get a solo pick with you and all 4 guys?
game show!!!!...i already have a solo pic with them...but ive never participated in a game show with them...a picture takes 3 seconds to take...the interaction durring a game show would be sooo much more...and i think being a part of the game show would be sooo much fun!!!!!
have a drink with howie or play volleyball with him?
well i dont really drink so im gonna pick volleyball by default and pretend that its beach volleyball and howie didnt bring a shirt...haha!!!
you're in the spa, would you rather be sitting next to their manager jen or one of their wives/girlfriends/fiances?
i voted for significant other here...but it was a really hard decision and i dont really remember what swayed me to vote this way...hmmm...
accidentally miss the beach party or accidentally miss Q and A?
Q and A...this one was so hard because there is no way i would miss either...haha!...but i picked Q and A because i didnt go to the beach party last year and i dont want to miss it again!
have aj visit your cabin or be in the hot tub with him? (both activities rated PG)
cabin!...i would def rather have aj come to my cabin...i feel like i would be able to talk to him at my cabin...and i would be able to show him all the awesome details of my door dec!...and i would be able to get a picture and an autograph and whatever...so it seems like the better option to me...
have a guest appearance by nkotb or by kevin?
this one is really tough because unlike all the other questions where i want to answer both, this one i want to say neither...but ultimately i picked kevin...because its a backstreet cruise...kevs may not be a current member but he'll always be a backstreet boy...so i guess it wouldnt be so bad if he made a cameo appearance at a deck party or something but i wouldnt want him to be a part of any of the other events...it really wouldnt be fair to the other 4...
take a wine class taught by howie or a cooking class taught by brian?
again i dont drink so a wine class really wouldnt do me any good...so i picked cooking class with brian!...and i could use some cooking lessons so why not!
get selected to be brians prom queen or be serenaded by him?
prom queen!!!! i dont know what being prom queen will get you but i just feel like its more special...i want that crown!!!! haha!!!...there have been tons of girls who have been serenaded and there will probably be more opportunities in the future...prom queen is a one and done situation...it would be pretty awesome to be the only one with that title!
win door decoration contest or get $500 of free cruise merch?
door dec!...i worked so hard on my door last year and i was crushed when i didnt even get a mention...so to win would mean sooo much to me...a win is worth so much more than $500 to me!
do a makeup class with rochelle or a fashion class with leighanne?
makeup class!...i dont wear too much makeup and i dont really care about fashion...but of the 2 i would have to say i like makeup more...actually i like makeup...really the only reason i dont wear it everyday is because im too lazy to put it on...haha!
get a kiss on the cheek from nick or have a 5 minute conversation with him?
convo! a kiss on the cheek would be great but it would only last like 2 seconds, if that...so i think id rather talk to him for 5 mins...
hear them perform an unreleased song or sing a preview of a song off their next album?
both!!!! haha!...i had to pick one so i voted for new song...everyone knows all the unreleased stuff...but to hear a brand new song before anyone else would be pretty cool!
run into howie in the elevator or run into him in the buffet line?
buffet!...i feel like most people would pick elevator...but what if he got of on the next floor?...those buffet lines can go on forever...also im nosey and like to know everything so i would find it interesting to see what he eats for breakfast or lunch or midnight snack...haha!!!
get front row to all of their events on board or get a backstage tour from your fav backstreet boy?
backstage tour...i didnt pick this for the tour its self but for the opportunity to spend some quality time with my little howito!!...haha!!!
forget to pack your camera or forget to pack your theme outfits?
theme outfits...definitely!...if i forget the specific things i planned i should be able to make do with what i do have...im an over packer so i would def have something i could use!!!...
well thats it...what do you think??? agree??? disagree???...let your voice be heard!!! dont be afraid to share below...and definitely go VOTE!!!!
play blackjack with aj or go clubbing with him?
clubbing!...i know there would be little opportunity for chatting but imagine dancing in the club with aj...how cool would that be...and i talking about dancing right next to him...i would have to show off my best moves!...haha!
get a hug from your favorite or get autographs from all 4 of the guys?
HUG!!!! i already have their autographs...and they are pretty easy to get these days...all you have to do is go to vip for a concert...but a hug...those are a little tougher to get...im still havent gotten the elusive hug...*sigh*...one of these days!
play basketball with brian or jet ski with brian?
basketball!...im not the greatest basketball player but i think it would create a lot of fun interaction with brian...also if your out in the ocean on jet skis you might not even be close to brian...unless of course we're talking about ridding on the back of the jet ski brian is driving...cause in that case i would totally change my answer!!!...haha!
get a bonus concert or a Q and A session thats twice as long?
Q and A...ive been to lots of concerts and ill go to lots more...but listening to them answering fan questions for hours is not something that happens too often...im always interested in what they have to say...and it also lets us see their personalities more!
workout with nick in the gym or eat breakfast with him?
breakfast...i feel like he would be very intense in the gym and thats just not for me (haha!)...i love breakfast and to be able to sit down and and eat it with nick would be even better...
take a workout class taught by nick or a dance class taught by aj?
if you dont know my answer to this question then you dont know me at all...haha!!!...dance class of course!!!!!...this one really is a no brainer for me...taking a dance class taught by any one of the boys would be a dream come true!!!!
get picked to participate in one of the game shows or get a solo pick with you and all 4 guys?
game show!!!!...i already have a solo pic with them...but ive never participated in a game show with them...a picture takes 3 seconds to take...the interaction durring a game show would be sooo much more...and i think being a part of the game show would be sooo much fun!!!!!
have a drink with howie or play volleyball with him?
well i dont really drink so im gonna pick volleyball by default and pretend that its beach volleyball and howie didnt bring a shirt...haha!!!
you're in the spa, would you rather be sitting next to their manager jen or one of their wives/girlfriends/fiances?
i voted for significant other here...but it was a really hard decision and i dont really remember what swayed me to vote this way...hmmm...
accidentally miss the beach party or accidentally miss Q and A?
Q and A...this one was so hard because there is no way i would miss either...haha!...but i picked Q and A because i didnt go to the beach party last year and i dont want to miss it again!
have aj visit your cabin or be in the hot tub with him? (both activities rated PG)
cabin!...i would def rather have aj come to my cabin...i feel like i would be able to talk to him at my cabin...and i would be able to show him all the awesome details of my door dec!...and i would be able to get a picture and an autograph and whatever...so it seems like the better option to me...
have a guest appearance by nkotb or by kevin?
this one is really tough because unlike all the other questions where i want to answer both, this one i want to say neither...but ultimately i picked kevin...because its a backstreet cruise...kevs may not be a current member but he'll always be a backstreet boy...so i guess it wouldnt be so bad if he made a cameo appearance at a deck party or something but i wouldnt want him to be a part of any of the other events...it really wouldnt be fair to the other 4...
take a wine class taught by howie or a cooking class taught by brian?
again i dont drink so a wine class really wouldnt do me any good...so i picked cooking class with brian!...and i could use some cooking lessons so why not!
get selected to be brians prom queen or be serenaded by him?
prom queen!!!! i dont know what being prom queen will get you but i just feel like its more special...i want that crown!!!! haha!!!...there have been tons of girls who have been serenaded and there will probably be more opportunities in the future...prom queen is a one and done situation...it would be pretty awesome to be the only one with that title!
win door decoration contest or get $500 of free cruise merch?
door dec!...i worked so hard on my door last year and i was crushed when i didnt even get a mention...so to win would mean sooo much to me...a win is worth so much more than $500 to me!
do a makeup class with rochelle or a fashion class with leighanne?
makeup class!...i dont wear too much makeup and i dont really care about fashion...but of the 2 i would have to say i like makeup more...actually i like makeup...really the only reason i dont wear it everyday is because im too lazy to put it on...haha!
get a kiss on the cheek from nick or have a 5 minute conversation with him?
convo! a kiss on the cheek would be great but it would only last like 2 seconds, if that...so i think id rather talk to him for 5 mins...
hear them perform an unreleased song or sing a preview of a song off their next album?
both!!!! haha!...i had to pick one so i voted for new song...everyone knows all the unreleased stuff...but to hear a brand new song before anyone else would be pretty cool!
run into howie in the elevator or run into him in the buffet line?
buffet!...i feel like most people would pick elevator...but what if he got of on the next floor?...those buffet lines can go on forever...also im nosey and like to know everything so i would find it interesting to see what he eats for breakfast or lunch or midnight snack...haha!!!
get front row to all of their events on board or get a backstage tour from your fav backstreet boy?
backstage tour...i didnt pick this for the tour its self but for the opportunity to spend some quality time with my little howito!!...haha!!!
forget to pack your camera or forget to pack your theme outfits?
theme outfits...definitely!...if i forget the specific things i planned i should be able to make do with what i do have...im an over packer so i would def have something i could use!!!...
well thats it...what do you think??? agree??? disagree???...let your voice be heard!!! dont be afraid to share below...and definitely go VOTE!!!!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
TV Time!!!
the best part about the fall is new episodes of my favorite tv shows!!...well there are other things that are great about the fall like football and pumpkin muffins...but new tv is my fave!!!...haha!!!...so the logical thing for me to do next is to share with you my fall tv schedule...im sitting here with my copy of Entertainment Weekly, the fall tv preview edition, because i want to make sure i dont miss anything...haha!!! =)
SUNDAY
Football (CBS or FOX 1pm or 4pm)
thats right, sundays are reserved for watching football...if im not at the JETS game then im watching them play on tv...i also like to watch the giants play...and keep an eye on whats going on around the league...im not playing fantasy this year, which stinks, but i still like to know whats going on...it also helps me add to the conversation at work on mondays...im the only girl in the group so this gives me something to talk to the boys about...haha!!
Amazing Race (CBS 8pm)
this is my long time fav reality competition show...i love it so much that i want to go on it one day...race around the world to win a million dollars...does it get any better?...theres only been one episode this season but i like the cast so far...we'll see how the rest of the season shakes out...im sure there will be a team or two that become super annoying...there always is...haha!...
MONDAY
Dancing With the Stars (ABC 8pm)
this show is one that i love to hate...and hate to love...haha!...every year i say im going to quit DWTS, take it off my schedule, and never watch it again...and yet i am never able to pull the trigger...here i am addicted to a show that i dont even like...i cant stop watching the sequin and fringe wearing pros and "stars" dance their little hearts out in pursuit of the coveted mirror ball trophy ...right now i like ricki lake and jr martinez...but there is a whole season ahead of us and anything van happen...oh and carson is a terrible dancer but soooo entertaining so i love him too!!!...haha!!
Terra Nova (FOX 8pm)
this is a brand new show about a family from the future who go back in time and are now living 85 million years in the past...thats right, with the dinosaurs!!...only the pilot has aired so far and i already love it...if you liked lost youll probably like this too...it has the same sense of adventure and danger...and its not as confusing...haha!...so give it a try!
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS 10pm)
this show is probably the most successful remake in resent history...its a great cop show located in beautiful hawaii...what more can you ask for?...the relationship between dano and mcgarrett is great...their banter is so funny!...oh and ps if you dont think that alex o'loughlin is smokin hott then you have a problem...haha!!!
TUESDAY
Glee (FOX 8pm)
glee is back and so far this season looks like its trying to get back to how it was in season 1...last year took a bit of a dip but so far im loving this season...a lot of the new directions kids are seniors so i cant wait to see how their story lines are wrapped up...i also have a lot of hope for there to be at least 1 bsb song on there this year...i mean matthew morrison did open for nkotbsb this summer sooo i hope he gets them on there...haha!!
Dancing With the Stars Results (ABC 9pm)
ugh...here it us again...haha!...i actually like the results show more than the performance show...i know its weird but the results show is when the pros dance alone and there are musical guests and cheesy packages...i love it all...(and i love that i can fast forward through most of it...i can watch the whole hour in about 20mins!...haha!)
The Biggest Loser (NBC 8pm)
i used to watch this then i tool it off my schedule to make room for other shows but i decided to bring it back this year...i figured i could use some extra motivation...its so inspirational...it shows these people who are struggling and they work hard and over come their problems...to be honest i think i have gotten teary eyed during every single episode i have ever watched...
WEDNESDAY
Survivor: South Pacific (CBS 8pm)
i love survivor!!!...i know its not as popular as it used to be but im still a fan...well actually i wasnt a fan when it was popular...i became a fan a few years ago because people at work watched...but since then i have gone back and watched a bunch of older seasons...right now im not super crazy about the redemption island thing they have going on but it wont last forever so its fine for now...this season also marks the return of coach and ozzy...these people are dumb if they dont get rid of them soon...if they dont then we can see a repeat of last season when boston rob ran the show and went onto win...
The Middle (ABC 8pm)
everyone is all about modern family but my comedy of choice is the middle...it is so funny!!!...its about a family in indiana and their lives...mom, dad, 3 kids...just a standard family...but they are all a little wacky in their own way...the way they interact with each other is so funny...i feel like the mom is exactly what a lot of moms are really like...well my mom is at least...haha!!!
Revenge (ABC 10pm)
brand new show starring the lovely emily van camp...her name in the show is also emily... basically she lived in the hamptons with her father when she was little...things happened and her father was framed for all kinds of crimes...so now shes all grown up and back in the hamptons ready to get revenge on all the people who framed dear old dad and ruined her life...theres been 2 episodes and im hooked...i cant wait to see what happens next!!!
Psych (USA 10pm)
sadly this did not start yet but it will in a few weeks...i cant wait for shawn and gus to come back to my screen...they are by far the funniest crime fighting duo out there...i cant wait to see what crazy things they have in store for us this season!!...
THURSDAY
Vampire Diaries (CW 8pm)
BEST SHOW EVER!!!!!! if you arent watching this then you are seriously missing out...go get season 1 on dvd and start watching right now...i do not recommend watching it real time unless you have seen the first 2 seasons...sooo much has happened and you'll only be confused...but trust me when i say it is def worth taking the time to catch up...its WAY better than twilight and true blood...best vampires out there!!!!
The Secret Circle (CW 9pm)
another new show to my line up...its about a group of 6 teenagers who happen to be witches...they are all learning how to deal with their powers and such...and there is a ton of mystery surrounding the town and their parents...so far so good...if you like witchy shows then you'll probably like this...give it a shot!!
FRIDAY
Supernatural (CW 9pm)
my only friday show now that smallville is gone (and i dont even watch friday night because its too scary...i like to watch it saturday morning...haha!!!)...the winchester brothers are back for season 7...every time they get out of a situation and you think it cant possibly get any worse for them, it does...this season it looks like they are going to be battling all the bad stuff that got out of purgatory...and there is that little task of putting sam's soul back together...nbd...if you like scary movies this is the show for you!!!
so guys...what are you watching this fall????
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