womp womp

after tuesday's encounter with clark kent, i couldnt stop thinking about it...i thought about what i should have said...i thought about what could have happened if i opened my mouth...i thought about what i could do to make next time better...i thought about everything....but mostly i thought...what is the matter with me?!?...i decided nothing would ever happen if i didnt do something about it...

so thursday night i finally broke down and told sports guy about my crush on clark kent...lets just say it didnt go as i had hoped...he pretty much said its a no go...ugh!...at first i was bummed out a little, i thought oh well ill just add him to the long list of crushes that went no where *sigh*...but then as the night went on and i had time to process what sports guy said, i got more and more upset...i even cried a little (not completely because of this but it was def a factor)...it makes my heart hurt that i have a long list of crushes that went no where...and it just plain old sucks!!!!!

so what now?...i dont want to continue letting this guy consume my thoughts if nothings ever gonna happen...so i have to get over him...it sounds simple but it will take some time for me to completely stop thinking about what could have been...in the mean time i will do the same thing i always do, i will pick myself up and continue to move forward the best i can...im gonna be okay, alright, fine...