hand written just for you!

hello there everyone!!

as i mentioned before my girl cait (you def need to read as she finds her balance) tagged me in my very first meme!!...and what makes this even more awesome is that its not just your everyday typed out entry...i get to hand write it!!!...so exciting!!!...yay!!! =)

Answer the following using regular old pen (or other writing implement) and paper:

1) What's your name/your Blogger name

2) What's you blog's name/URL?

3) Write "the quick fox jumps over the lazy dog"

4) Favorite quote?

5) Your favorite song?

6) Your favorite band/singer?

7) Anything else you want to say?

8) Tag 3 to 5 other people

ps ~ i totally wrote in purple sharpie...i dont know why it looks blue...oh well!...AND if there are any words spelled wrong, im sorry!...there is no spell check with pen and paper...haha!!

feelin the love

a pleasant good day to all of you

today has been an excellent day...for the sole fact that little sis and i managed to get 2nd row tickets to nkotBSB!!!...i have never ever had good seats to see my boys...i never really cared because as long as i was there it didnt matter where i was sitting...ive even been in the last row at continental arena...oh and also last row on the cruise...so yeah needless to say its about time we got awesome seats!!!...im so excited for this tour...you have no idea...

anyway what i really wanted to talk about was love...i may not have any romantic type of love in my life right now (which totally stinks btw)...but that doesnt mean that i have no love in my life...i have so many people who care about me and love me...its the little things that make me feel loved...

~my 3rd grade cousin learned all about writing letters in school...so she had to write a letter to a friend or a family member...she picked me! out of everyone in my giant family she picked me!... =)

~every time i see my nephew and he tells me he loves me...my heart just melts...as ive mentioned many times before he is just the cutest kid ever!...

~whenever im on the phone with someone in my family we ALWAYS say i love you before hanging up...i feel so blessed to have family like this...they mean the world to me and im so happy that we can express that to each other...

~here's a blog related one...my girl cait over at finding my balance tagged my in a meme...so yay!...its the first time ive been tagged in one...so thanks for thinking of me cait!...and look for my answers in the near future!

there are so many other little things that i could go on and on about but ill stop here...(a little because i dont want to bore you but mostly because its my stop on the train and im out of time...haha!)...so to all my followers stop and smell the roses, appreciate the little things, and try to tell someone you love them today...tell your parents...your siblings...your mailman...it doesnt matter...just say it to someone and i can guarantee that it will brighten their day and yours!!!...

i'll say it two times...i love you! i love you! <3 <3

what if you won the lotto?

im sure everyone imagines winning the lotto...and im not talking about winning a few dollars on a scratch off...im talking about winning millions...and if you say that its never crossed your mind i would say that youre lying!!...haha!...its something i think about all the time...millions upon millions of dollars...what would you do with it all?!?...here's what i would do...(warning: the first few are more practical and not that exciting...but then ill get to the good stuff...no worries)

1) QUIT MY JOB!!!!!!! yeah, im def not one of those who would keep my job...id give my two weeks and be out of that place so fast they wont know what hit em!

2) GET OUT OF DEBT...directly after saying peace out at work, i would pay off all my credit cards, my car, my student loans...pay off everything i can including the house...and i would do the same for everyone in my family and all my friends...not having to pay credit card bills or loans or mortgages or whatever every month would take a huge weight off of anyones shoulders...

3) COLLEGE FUNDS...i would set them up for my nephew, 2 small cousins, and my little bff...going to college is super important and if i could make it easy for them to go anywhere they want without needing student loans it would start them off on the right foot...and if youre wonding why i need to set up a fund instead of just give it to them when they need it, well the answer is easy...its possible to blow all the money...so if its set aside for them, they would be guaranteed to have it...

4) CARS!!!...i already have a car that i love so i wouldnt need a new one for everyday driving...but i think i would buy some type of convertible for crusin around the shore in the summer...i would also get my sisters and parents new cars...what ever kind they want!...

5) HOUSE...i know this sounds silly but i dont think i would move out of my current house...but i would def upgrade it...i would redo the kitchen however my mom wants...i would also redo all the bathrooms...i would def make my bathroom bigger...i want a huge shower with a bench and the rain and the jets that come out from the side...and i want a separate tub...a really big hot tub, tub...and perhaps a separate toilet area...thats it for the bathrooms but not for upgrades to the house...i would put a full addition on to the house over the garage and the family room...and i have many ideas for all this space...i want a craft room there...complete with everything from paints to sharpees to construction paper to card stock to tape to glue to rhinestones to glitter and anything else you can think of...it will be fabulous!...i also want a movie theater room up there...giant screen tv...surround sound...full recliners...blankets and pillows...popcorn machine...kitchenete...plenty of storage for my huge movie collection...and on the door to this room will be my bsbcruise2010 door dec!...haha!!!...there would also be room for a guest room and another bathroom...and hopefully a storage room to put all my stuff thats overflowing from my room...oh! lets call it a walk in closet and attach it to my bathroom!...yeah that sounds good!...haha!!!

6) SHORE HOUSE!...theres no way that we can give up the prime location we have now...but what we can do it knock it down and build it up!...ill leave the specs to f.u.n and bubbles on that one cause it is there house after all...but i know it will be awesome!!!!

7) WEDDINGS!....if i won within the year i would 100% pay for the princess' wedding...and i would pay for everyone's flight and room!...i would also put plenty aside so little sis and i can have awesome extravagant weddings of our own...i would pull out all the stops, hire david tutera and have the best wedding EVER!!!!!...and if i dont get married i'll throw myself a giant birthday bash!!!!!

8) VACATION!!!!...since i would quit my job i really wouldnt have to many time constraints...and money wouldnt be an issue...so why not go on lots of vacations traveling first class only!!!...i would go on a cruise to alaska...i would go on a disney cruise (on the new ship, not the old ones)...i would go to disney world...i would go to italy...i would make it a point to go to every state...i would go to croatia...and i think thats about it...i guess the places i want to go is pretty short...oh well...

9) OPEN A DANCE STUDIO!!!!...this one is the most important to me because its my dream...and in real life if money wasnt an issue i would already have one...with unlimited funds i could really make my studio state of the art...top of the line floors...sound proof walls...best of the best stereo and sound system...floor to ceiling mirrors...adjustable ballet barres...wi-fi and tvs in the waiting room...a study room for students to do their homework between class...a locker room like bathroom (it would be nice to be able to shower after class before going out...dont you think?!)...it would be perfect...just the way i imagine it to be!!!...

oh my gosh...now im super excited!...i cant wait until i hit a mega jackpot!!!...haha!!! so what would you want from me if i won? or what would you get for yourself if you won millions upon millions??? dont be shy! let me know!!!

holding on

hey kiddies!

before we get into the goods i just want to say that one of my new years resolutions is to write in my handy dandy blog more...umm so far i am failing miserably...haha...this is only post number 2 for the year and its already february...i better step up my game...dont worry i have lots of things brewing in my head...so they will come out sooner rather than later...but i make no promises!...haha!...well lets get on with it shall we...

i have realized that i hold on to way too much stuff...and while i am a borderline hoarder, im not talking about physical things...im talking about ideas and emotions and all that good stuff...so for the sake of this entry lets focus on what i focus on best...boys of course!...haha!...

its no secret that i want more than anything to find a boyfriend but i have an extremely difficult time doing so...i think part of the problem is that i have a hard time letting go...i start crushing on a guy and thats it...its gotta be him or no one...and its not like i like a guy for a short amount of time...for instance i crushed on the same boy from 2nd grade until 8th grade...thats 7 years people...see not short...well i guess the crush on new guy didnt last too long but the guy moved to hawaii and i went on for months still crushin...thats a problem...

even now with concert guy...my brain is 100% confident that there is absolutely no way he sees me as anything more than a friend...and yet i cant let go...i over analyze everything hes ever said to me trying to search for a hidden meaning that isnt there...i just cant give up on the glimmer of hope...ya know...for a while i was even contemplating telling him how i felt...but for what?...for him to tell me something that i already know?...or to completely destroy the little bit of friendship i have left with him?...or to be rejected yet again?...i dont think i could handle it...its really not worth it...but i was stuck...trying to move forward but making very little progress because i wasnt willing to give up...

then out of the blue i received a text from him...and my very little progress flew right out the window...haha!...the butterflies came rushing back...i was so excited...my imagination ran wild with all the things it could possibly say...all it said was that he was gonna take the train in the morning...so of course i got myself all hyped up to see him again...and of course i played out a million different scenarios in my head of what could happen...and each one was more fabulous than the last...unfortunately reality never lives up to the fantasy...when i actually saw him it was slightly awkward...i wasnt really sure what to say...suddenly everything i thought about saying seemed so stupid...but what actually came out of my mouth was even worse...ugh...haha!...so now after that i know i have to let go of him and look for someone completely new...im still holding on a little...but now its by a pinkie finger instead of a full on 2 hand death grip...haha!!!

if i really want to find a man then there is one more thing i need to let go of...i need to let go of the idea i have in my head that "how could anyone possibly love me"...i know its terrible to think but i do...and its not something i like to admit that i think but i do...its always there lingering in the back of my mind...i really really need to let go of that thought...and once i do that i will truly be able to move one...but until that day im stuck...but i wont give up!!!

sorry to be on the woe is me side tonight but sometimes i just need to get these things off my chest ya know...it helps me feel better...and itsnt that part of the reason for blogging?!...well im off...maybe ill watch some boy meets world tonight...that always makes me happy!!! =)