nervous nelly

guess whos back!....new guy!!!....eeeekkkkk!!!!

for those of you who dont remember new guy lets quickly recap...hes the super hottie lifeguard from last summer i was totally curshin on...oh yeah and i totally made a complete fool out of myself every time he was around...i lost all ability to function as a human being...simple things like saying "hi, i'm ashley" just seemed impossible...but no big deal...haha!...after last summer new guy moved to hawaii and slowly but surely i forgot all about him (thanks in part to concert guy! <3)...does any of this ring a bell???...

well the switch was flipped back on last weekend when f.u.n. informed me that new guy is gonna be at the compound on friday night!...aaahhhhh!!!...i dont know if i should be super excited (hey maybe i will be able to have an actual conversation this time) or if i should be super embarrassed and run for the hills...haha...im just afraid that the mistakes i made last summer will happen again...while im aware that there is def no future relationship there i still dont want him to think im a rataard...cause im not! (okay in front of him i am...haha)...

its been a whole year since i last saw new guy and i am def the same person but at the same time i think i have changed ever so slightly...and hopefully that slight change will be enough for me to be able to have a regular conversation with new guy...i think that the fact that im not really crushin on him anymore will help a lot...well i am but im not...ya know?...lets put it this way...im totally team concert guy now but if an opportunity came up with new guy i def wouldnt turn it down...haha...speaking of concert guy, i've been able to talk to him like a normal person all year...it should be the same with new guy...right?...

i have to try not to think about it too much...there isnt even a guarantee that he will be there friday night...so why am i worried?...this is so dumb...haha!...

yeah ill be fine...i hope!