clearly i have more trouble than your average 24 year old when it comes to boys...well maybe not more but def different!...i have a hard time expressing any confidence in this area due to lack of experience...but how am i going to get any experience without having confidence in myself...its an evil circle im stuck in and im not really going to discuss it too much because i think i already have...and because im not here to throw myself a pity party...all i want to do today is examine the facts...
this weekend i went out with concert guy (as mentioned in yesterday's entry)...relax it wasnt just the two of us...although i wish it was!...hehe...it was concert guy, a few of his friends, wet hair girl and me...we went to v lounge in new brunswick...got lost going there and coming home...danced the night away...and had tons of fun!!!
as the night went on i came to the realization that concert guy probably sees me as a friend only...ugh...i had such high hopes for this one...there was ZERO flirting going on...not even things that i pretend are flirting even though they're really not...haha!...
i drove everyone there and he didnt even sit in the front seat...and it would make perfect sense for him to sit in the front because 1) he was the only boy and 2) hes like 10 feet tall (okay maybe not 10 feet but he is tall)...why would he want to sit in the back?...actually now that i think about it they probably planned that for reasons that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that i dont think they wanted to sit next to wet hair girl...oh well...but still no front seat...haha!...
another thing...i am a freakin awesome dancer! (i dont want to sound conceded or anything like that but its true)...i was whipping out some of my best moves and yet not once the whole night did he dance with me...maybe i was too good...yeah lets say that...haha!...at least on the way home he said how awesome i am about a million times...i dont think any of them were expecting me to be that good...i love the shock value...=)
so anyway i have decided that if concert guy just wants to be friends then thats okay...im done over analyzing every little move...if something happens great...if not oh well...its not any different from any other time in my life ive had a school girl crush on a boy...
my situation is what it is...its silly to dwell on it...i mean i passed pathetic a long time ago...now its just whatever this is who i am deal with it...so im moving on from constantly feeling sorry for myself...things will work out for me one day...but for now im going to be happy being just who i am! =)
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