ever since i realized that people in the bloggerverse use cool blog names for everyone they talk about i decided that i should follow suit...i think ive been doing a pretty good job...some are pretty original and others not so much...for the most part its pretty easy to figure out who im talking about if you know me in real life...haha!...anyway yesterday i realized that since i made the change i havent mentioned a super important person in my life...so without further ado i would like to introduce everyone to the most recent addition to my cast of characters: the mayor!
of course he's not really a mayor of anything...i choose this name because no matter where we are or who we're with he knows EVERYONE!...the kid has like 2000 friends on facebook and im pretty sure he actually knows just about all of them...thats crazy talk right?!?...or does everyone have 2000 friends and im just not that cool???..haha!...
the mayor is my super awesome little cousin...and by little i mean younger cause he beats me by about an inch in the hight department...haha!...we have had plenty of "ashley and mayor days of fun over the years"...we both graduated from the same school so we had many lunches together and agree that corey is the BEST sandwich guy ever!...we're competitive with each other over everything from fantasyteevee to who's our grandmother's favorite (ps its totally me!...haha!)...he's the only one who will actually phone five with me...i could go on and on about my buddy but i'll stop here...the fact is i love him and wouldnt know what i would do with out him...hes the closest thing i have to a brother!
the real purpose of this blog is to welcome the mayor to the blogosphere!...after reading my blog for a while he decided to start his own and share with everyone 61.4% of his life...haha!...you can check him out over at never give up ...so go there now and show him some love!!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
why are boys so difficult???
clearly i have more trouble than your average 24 year old when it comes to boys...well maybe not more but def different!...i have a hard time expressing any confidence in this area due to lack of experience...but how am i going to get any experience without having confidence in myself...its an evil circle im stuck in and im not really going to discuss it too much because i think i already have...and because im not here to throw myself a pity party...all i want to do today is examine the facts...
this weekend i went out with concert guy (as mentioned in yesterday's entry)...relax it wasnt just the two of us...although i wish it was!...hehe...it was concert guy, a few of his friends, wet hair girl and me...we went to v lounge in new brunswick...got lost going there and coming home...danced the night away...and had tons of fun!!!
as the night went on i came to the realization that concert guy probably sees me as a friend only...ugh...i had such high hopes for this one...there was ZERO flirting going on...not even things that i pretend are flirting even though they're really not...haha!...
i drove everyone there and he didnt even sit in the front seat...and it would make perfect sense for him to sit in the front because 1) he was the only boy and 2) hes like 10 feet tall (okay maybe not 10 feet but he is tall)...why would he want to sit in the back?...actually now that i think about it they probably planned that for reasons that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that i dont think they wanted to sit next to wet hair girl...oh well...but still no front seat...haha!...
another thing...i am a freakin awesome dancer! (i dont want to sound conceded or anything like that but its true)...i was whipping out some of my best moves and yet not once the whole night did he dance with me...maybe i was too good...yeah lets say that...haha!...at least on the way home he said how awesome i am about a million times...i dont think any of them were expecting me to be that good...i love the shock value...=)
so anyway i have decided that if concert guy just wants to be friends then thats okay...im done over analyzing every little move...if something happens great...if not oh well...its not any different from any other time in my life ive had a school girl crush on a boy...
my situation is what it is...its silly to dwell on it...i mean i passed pathetic a long time ago...now its just whatever this is who i am deal with it...so im moving on from constantly feeling sorry for myself...things will work out for me one day...but for now im going to be happy being just who i am! =)
this weekend i went out with concert guy (as mentioned in yesterday's entry)...relax it wasnt just the two of us...although i wish it was!...hehe...it was concert guy, a few of his friends, wet hair girl and me...we went to v lounge in new brunswick...got lost going there and coming home...danced the night away...and had tons of fun!!!
as the night went on i came to the realization that concert guy probably sees me as a friend only...ugh...i had such high hopes for this one...there was ZERO flirting going on...not even things that i pretend are flirting even though they're really not...haha!...
i drove everyone there and he didnt even sit in the front seat...and it would make perfect sense for him to sit in the front because 1) he was the only boy and 2) hes like 10 feet tall (okay maybe not 10 feet but he is tall)...why would he want to sit in the back?...actually now that i think about it they probably planned that for reasons that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that i dont think they wanted to sit next to wet hair girl...oh well...but still no front seat...haha!...
another thing...i am a freakin awesome dancer! (i dont want to sound conceded or anything like that but its true)...i was whipping out some of my best moves and yet not once the whole night did he dance with me...maybe i was too good...yeah lets say that...haha!...at least on the way home he said how awesome i am about a million times...i dont think any of them were expecting me to be that good...i love the shock value...=)
so anyway i have decided that if concert guy just wants to be friends then thats okay...im done over analyzing every little move...if something happens great...if not oh well...its not any different from any other time in my life ive had a school girl crush on a boy...
my situation is what it is...its silly to dwell on it...i mean i passed pathetic a long time ago...now its just whatever this is who i am deal with it...so im moving on from constantly feeling sorry for myself...things will work out for me one day...but for now im going to be happy being just who i am! =)
Monday, April 19, 2010
dance class!
yay!!! finally im back in dance class!!!
the first class was last week...so much fun! we did all kinds of old school stuff and turns and time steps and salsa and just about everything else...i dont think i can express in words how much i really missed it!
after the studio closed my life became pretty boring...i went to work...came home...went to sleep...woke up and did the same thing the next day...ugh...so lame right...not only was i not in dance class but i wasnt seeing my friends as often as i used to...because they were my dance friends i would see them in class and it would be so easy to make plans for the weekend...but now we barely see each other...and i miss them!...so now that im back in class my life is slightly less boring...now i can say "i went to dance class monday night!"...and hopefully ill get to hang out with the lifers more often!!!...
tonight is the second class and i cant wait to get there!...im still super tired from lack of sleep this weekend but it doesnt matter...dance class trumps everything...even an extra hour of sleep...=)
oh and ps...sat night i went to a loungey/cluby place with the train friends...concert guy totally thinks im an awesome dancer!...and to that i say "please, i dont mess around...when i say im good...i mean im good!"...=)
the first class was last week...so much fun! we did all kinds of old school stuff and turns and time steps and salsa and just about everything else...i dont think i can express in words how much i really missed it!
after the studio closed my life became pretty boring...i went to work...came home...went to sleep...woke up and did the same thing the next day...ugh...so lame right...not only was i not in dance class but i wasnt seeing my friends as often as i used to...because they were my dance friends i would see them in class and it would be so easy to make plans for the weekend...but now we barely see each other...and i miss them!...so now that im back in class my life is slightly less boring...now i can say "i went to dance class monday night!"...and hopefully ill get to hang out with the lifers more often!!!...
tonight is the second class and i cant wait to get there!...im still super tired from lack of sleep this weekend but it doesnt matter...dance class trumps everything...even an extra hour of sleep...=)
oh and ps...sat night i went to a loungey/cluby place with the train friends...concert guy totally thinks im an awesome dancer!...and to that i say "please, i dont mess around...when i say im good...i mean im good!"...=)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
happy 100th post to me!!!
yay!!!...i finally made it all the way to 100...(and yet i dont feel a day over 24...haha!!!)
i wish i had some type of AWESOME story to share for this monumentous blog posting...and if i wait around for one to happen who knows when i would be making this entry...so instead i just have some odds and ends for your reading enjoyment! =)
concert guy~> i am more confused than ever with him...this past weekend he texted me to see what i was doing...he said he was gonna be at one place and then going to another place after that...so i said im going to dinner with my sister but i will def meet him later...after dinner i texted him to find out is he was at place 1 or 2...i got no responce...wtf?!?...whats going on???...why would he invite me out and then not tell me where he was...thats weird right...or no...i dont know...i wish i could just say hey concert guy lets go on a date...but i cant because i cant let things get awkward...i still have to take the 713 and see him everymorning...uh oh...i hope hes not thinking the same thing...im sure hes not...haha...
my phone~> my trusty voyager is now broken...the hinge cracked so now when i open it to text (or write in my blog) the top flops all over the place...its really annoying...everything still works so its not life altering but im still really upset...haha...at least i can get a new one at the end of june...only 3 months to go...
sytycd~> there is a brand new format headed our way for season 7...im kind of excited about it...they needed to do something after the joke that was season 6...this topic will probably get its own entry so i wont go on too much about it...
backstreet boys~> little sis and i are going on a bsb cruise!!!...ahhhhhhh!!!!...its not until december so i have pleanty of time to talk about it...im sooo excited!...its like a dream come true! =)
birthday~> the big two five is quickly approaching (in 37 days to be exact)...i cant wait to go on my big disney trip!!!...i feel like ive been planing it forever...but its almost here and i am super excited to celebrate there!...also i've been thinking about having another party...a local one so everyone whos not going to disney with me and still celebrate...as far as im concerned there can NEVER be too much celebrating!!!
well i think thats it for now...i'll check in again soon...i promise!
i wish i had some type of AWESOME story to share for this monumentous blog posting...and if i wait around for one to happen who knows when i would be making this entry...so instead i just have some odds and ends for your reading enjoyment! =)
concert guy~> i am more confused than ever with him...this past weekend he texted me to see what i was doing...he said he was gonna be at one place and then going to another place after that...so i said im going to dinner with my sister but i will def meet him later...after dinner i texted him to find out is he was at place 1 or 2...i got no responce...wtf?!?...whats going on???...why would he invite me out and then not tell me where he was...thats weird right...or no...i dont know...i wish i could just say hey concert guy lets go on a date...but i cant because i cant let things get awkward...i still have to take the 713 and see him everymorning...uh oh...i hope hes not thinking the same thing...im sure hes not...haha...
my phone~> my trusty voyager is now broken...the hinge cracked so now when i open it to text (or write in my blog) the top flops all over the place...its really annoying...everything still works so its not life altering but im still really upset...haha...at least i can get a new one at the end of june...only 3 months to go...
sytycd~> there is a brand new format headed our way for season 7...im kind of excited about it...they needed to do something after the joke that was season 6...this topic will probably get its own entry so i wont go on too much about it...
backstreet boys~> little sis and i are going on a bsb cruise!!!...ahhhhhhh!!!!...its not until december so i have pleanty of time to talk about it...im sooo excited!...its like a dream come true! =)
birthday~> the big two five is quickly approaching (in 37 days to be exact)...i cant wait to go on my big disney trip!!!...i feel like ive been planing it forever...but its almost here and i am super excited to celebrate there!...also i've been thinking about having another party...a local one so everyone whos not going to disney with me and still celebrate...as far as im concerned there can NEVER be too much celebrating!!!
well i think thats it for now...i'll check in again soon...i promise!
Monday, March 22, 2010
i need to take flirting 101
hello there blog readers!
i have decided that i really need to learn how to flirt...i am clueless...and whats worse is i dont even think i would be able to tell if someone was flirting with me...this is def a life skill that i am laking...it would be helpful in accomplishing some of my boy related goals...dont you think so? i do!...haha!...
of course there's a story to go along with this new plan that took me WAY too long to come up with...(flirting...so easy...why didnt i think of it sooner???...haha!)
i have been hanging out with concert guy a lot lately (and by a lot i mean we hung out once like a month ago and then 3 nights in a row this week)...these past few times we were together i couldnt tell if he was flirting with me or not...lets examine the clues shall we...
1) he always makes a point to ask me to sit next to him
2) one night when i was leaving i went to say goodbye with the standard semi air kiss on the cheek...ya know just mwah and back off (this was my plan of action based on how he was saying goodnight to everyone else)...but he choose to go with the extended hug option after the semi air kiss on the cheek...(does this one even make any sense???)...the reason it makes the list is because thats the way i great or depart someone i care about...not just some train friend...AND i was the only one to get the extended hug...
3) saturday night concert guy told wet hair girl that his friend had a crush on her...before the friend came wet hair girl was getting nervous (which didnt really make a whole lot of sense because she lives with her boyfriend)...so concert guy said just relax and flirt with him a little...so she said i havent flirted with anyone in so long i dont know what to do (big lies...she flirts with all the boys all the time)...so concert guy was like its easy you can just touch his thigh, it means you're into him...and as he said it he was touching MY thigh!...the following was going on in my head: oh.mygod...really?!?...is he really touching my leg right now???...oh no what does my face look like? shocked im sure...good thing its dark so no one can see the bright red color im probably turning...i must keep my reaction under controll...lol...(wow am i a nut case or what?!?...haha)...instead of freaking out in my mind i should have said something clever...but clearly i couldnt think of anything...so anyway after the fact i started thinking was he doing that because he really was flirting with me???...he even said hey retard THIS means im flirting with you...OR was i simply just used as an example because i was sitting next to him (which brings us back to point number 1...haha)...im sure its the later of the 2 but it may not be...ya know...
4) well thats really all i got...there may have been other things but like i said im not the best at reading the flirt...haha!
as you can tell im a mess...if i was given a flirting test right now i would probably get a zero...haha...i need help kids...so if anyone out there knows of some type of flirting class i really need it...cause the more i hang out with concert guy the more intense the silly crush i have on him gets...i cant let another one slip away...i refuse!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
wishy washy no more
at the time of my last post i was on the fence about concert guy...but now im off the fence and 100% in school girl crush mode...haha...also thanks to wet hair girl (and some facebook stalking...haha) i am now about 95% sure that my speculation is FALSE!!!...
so what does all this mean???...well nothing really yet...but there is a plan...so far everytime wet hair girl and i have come up with a plan reguarding concert guy it has worked...so lets hope this plan works too!!! would you like to know what the plan is??? well im gonna tell you no worries...haha...but first lets rewind a bit...before we really even met concert guy and wet hair girl would always say to me things like"i want you to date him" and "i would love to set you guys up"...i say no objections here!...so the plan is for her to start saying those types of things to him about me when they take the train home together and im not around...its almost perfect because i avoid any awkwardness and the seed gets planted in his head that hey im available...okay its totally lame but who cares right...at least its something...fingers crossed...haha!
also (this doesnt really have anything to do with the plan but i thought i would share anyway) i just realized today that i knew who concert guy was way before the train and way before the concert...when i was in college i worked at a summer day camp..this camp was located at a swim club...guess who was a lifeguard at the swim club...thats right concert guy...how weird is that???...i knew him before i knew him...i still cant get over it...
well thats it for now...let me know what you think...
untill next time happy blogging!!!
so what does all this mean???...well nothing really yet...but there is a plan...so far everytime wet hair girl and i have come up with a plan reguarding concert guy it has worked...so lets hope this plan works too!!! would you like to know what the plan is??? well im gonna tell you no worries...haha...but first lets rewind a bit...before we really even met concert guy and wet hair girl would always say to me things like"i want you to date him" and "i would love to set you guys up"...i say no objections here!...so the plan is for her to start saying those types of things to him about me when they take the train home together and im not around...its almost perfect because i avoid any awkwardness and the seed gets planted in his head that hey im available...okay its totally lame but who cares right...at least its something...fingers crossed...haha!
also (this doesnt really have anything to do with the plan but i thought i would share anyway) i just realized today that i knew who concert guy was way before the train and way before the concert...when i was in college i worked at a summer day camp..this camp was located at a swim club...guess who was a lifeguard at the swim club...thats right concert guy...how weird is that???...i knew him before i knew him...i still cant get over it...
well thats it for now...let me know what you think...
untill next time happy blogging!!!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
eh...maybe not...
so last week i was all kinds of excited over the idea of concert guy and the fact that i stepped up and actually talk to him...that was huge for me...but now that i think about it the chances of him turning from fobo to bofo are slim to none...if my speculation is correct then there is really nothing i can do that would make him want to date me...too bad for me...
of course i still want to be friends with concert guy...so far he seems like a good guy and i would probably have tons of fun with him if we were to hang out outside of the train...and he would be good to keep around if i need a wedding date in the future...ya know...hopefully we become closer friends...and maybe just maybe (even if my speculation is true) he wouldnt mind helping a friend out in the josie grossie department...that would be awesome...hey my deadline is quickly approaching so i dont have much time left...i'll have to work fast...haha...concert guy will just have to go on the accelerated program like bff did last summer (i felt like i knew him for years after just 1 month...lol...)...
so in closing...maybe i should start picking boys to crush on that i actually have a chance with...or maybe i should stop looking all together...they say it comes when you least expect it...but i dont care if i expect it or not...as long as its soon!!!
of course i still want to be friends with concert guy...so far he seems like a good guy and i would probably have tons of fun with him if we were to hang out outside of the train...and he would be good to keep around if i need a wedding date in the future...ya know...hopefully we become closer friends...and maybe just maybe (even if my speculation is true) he wouldnt mind helping a friend out in the josie grossie department...that would be awesome...hey my deadline is quickly approaching so i dont have much time left...i'll have to work fast...haha...concert guy will just have to go on the accelerated program like bff did last summer (i felt like i knew him for years after just 1 month...lol...)...
so in closing...maybe i should start picking boys to crush on that i actually have a chance with...or maybe i should stop looking all together...they say it comes when you least expect it...but i dont care if i expect it or not...as long as its soon!!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
new guy is out...
...and concert guy is in! (or did i call him train guy???...i cant remember...haha)
so after all that drama that was my summer crush on new guy i think im totally over it now (almost 6 months later)...of course when f.u.n. and bff talk about him i say things like "did he tell you he secretly loves me?"...and then laugh...haha...to be honest i never had any real hope for a relationship there...i just thought he was hot!...well i think i'll always think hes hot...hehe...=)...he was kinda like a reach bofo...almost like a reach school when your applying for college...ya know...you really want to go there and you dont think you'll get in but you apply anyway...so yeah thats that but i still cant wait for the summer to come rolling around again just so i can catch another glimpse of him...(does that sound creepy???)...
now onto concert/train guy...in case you missed it (or forgot) concert guy is the cute guy who takes the 713 in the morning and said heeeyyy to me at beatstock this summer...ever since the concert i have been wanting to say hi to him at the train but i was too scared...(hey after what happened whenever i tried to talk to new guy can you blame me?...haha)... then i made some new train friends and every morning we would chat...mostly about the fact that we wanted to make concert guy our friend...finally a few weeks ago the weird lady who talks to us in the morning saw concert guy on the train home so she sat next to him and made friends...perfect! now we had an in...and yet i was still scared to say hi (wow what a loser...haha)...but everything changed on monday feb 1...a new month, a new out look on life...the weird lady said thats it im going over there...so she went and we followed...so yay i have officially met train guy and im no longer afraid to talk to him...even better on tuesday none of my other train friends were there so i talked to concert guy all by myself AND i invited him to meet us after work on friday!...
its just baby steps but im proud of myself!...i cant wait until friday...lets see what happens!!! =)
so after all that drama that was my summer crush on new guy i think im totally over it now (almost 6 months later)...of course when f.u.n. and bff talk about him i say things like "did he tell you he secretly loves me?"...and then laugh...haha...to be honest i never had any real hope for a relationship there...i just thought he was hot!...well i think i'll always think hes hot...hehe...=)...he was kinda like a reach bofo...almost like a reach school when your applying for college...ya know...you really want to go there and you dont think you'll get in but you apply anyway...so yeah thats that but i still cant wait for the summer to come rolling around again just so i can catch another glimpse of him...(does that sound creepy???)...
now onto concert/train guy...in case you missed it (or forgot) concert guy is the cute guy who takes the 713 in the morning and said heeeyyy to me at beatstock this summer...ever since the concert i have been wanting to say hi to him at the train but i was too scared...(hey after what happened whenever i tried to talk to new guy can you blame me?...haha)... then i made some new train friends and every morning we would chat...mostly about the fact that we wanted to make concert guy our friend...finally a few weeks ago the weird lady who talks to us in the morning saw concert guy on the train home so she sat next to him and made friends...perfect! now we had an in...and yet i was still scared to say hi (wow what a loser...haha)...but everything changed on monday feb 1...a new month, a new out look on life...the weird lady said thats it im going over there...so she went and we followed...so yay i have officially met train guy and im no longer afraid to talk to him...even better on tuesday none of my other train friends were there so i talked to concert guy all by myself AND i invited him to meet us after work on friday!...
its just baby steps but im proud of myself!...i cant wait until friday...lets see what happens!!! =)
Thursday, December 24, 2009
secret santa
its time for my official secret santa predictions!
cort has trev
trev has cort
britt has steph
steph has meg
meg has kate
kate has ty
ty has me
i have britt
we'll see if im right this year!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
cort has trev
trev has cort
britt has steph
steph has meg
meg has kate
kate has ty
ty has me
i have britt
we'll see if im right this year!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Friday, December 4, 2009
obsession
i have noticed that i become addicted to things pretty easily (not bad things...no worries)...it could be a tv show or a book or a game or even blogging...i find myself trying to squeeze in every possible second to satisfy ny need to do whatever it is im obsessing over at the moment...and then after a while i start to lose interest...lets take a look at some of these things...
blogging~> last year around october novemberish i was blogging almost everyday...how was it possible that i had so much to say?...i probably didnt have anything interesting to write...i just put down anything so i could say i blogged for the day...i was obsessed so i did it...i had to...but now i kinda just write when something comes to me...i dont try to find stuff to talk about...its just what comes out...
games~> these addictions dont last as long as some of my other ones but if i find a game i really like i feel like i constantly need to play it...i started playing bejewled blitz on facebook and loved it...i even downloaded it to my ipod so i could play it on the train...so i pretty much play it all the time...i think im almost over it but not yet...there have been many games like this over the years...
tv shows on dvd~> if i start watching a series on dvd thats all ill watch...all my other shows fall by the waste side...there have been times that i have stayed up way later than i should have because ill say oh ill just watch one more episode...and then 3 episodes later im still saying just 1 more...when i was a senior in college i watched all 10 seasons of friends in about a week over my winter break...thats crazy!...i mean really...who does that?!?...right now i am obsessed with survivor!...right after last season was over it was on sale on i tunes so i bought it...i never really got around to watching it but then the other day i decided hey why dont i watch some of this again...of course i couldnt stop until the season was over...(yay jt!...he's totally my survivor fobo!)...now i want to buy another season...but i dont know which one...anyone have any suggestions???...
twilight~> last fall i was completley obsessed with twilight...i gave up my morning nap to read...i couldnt wait to get out of work just so i could continue reading...and then the movie was coming out and i need to know everything there was to know about it...i absolutely LOVED all things twilight related...i even blogged about it every tuesday...then after all the hype died down i kinda forgot about it...of course i went to see new moon on opening day this year but i wasnt nearly as excited for it...so of course im still a fan of the whole twilight saga but im not going crazy about it anymore...
backstreet boys~> this is my longest lasting obsession...of course its more intense at times than others but i think its the one obsession i will never get rid of...ive been a fan since 7th grade what can i say...they are my all time fav and ALWAYS will be!!!
blogging~> last year around october novemberish i was blogging almost everyday...how was it possible that i had so much to say?...i probably didnt have anything interesting to write...i just put down anything so i could say i blogged for the day...i was obsessed so i did it...i had to...but now i kinda just write when something comes to me...i dont try to find stuff to talk about...its just what comes out...
games~> these addictions dont last as long as some of my other ones but if i find a game i really like i feel like i constantly need to play it...i started playing bejewled blitz on facebook and loved it...i even downloaded it to my ipod so i could play it on the train...so i pretty much play it all the time...i think im almost over it but not yet...there have been many games like this over the years...
tv shows on dvd~> if i start watching a series on dvd thats all ill watch...all my other shows fall by the waste side...there have been times that i have stayed up way later than i should have because ill say oh ill just watch one more episode...and then 3 episodes later im still saying just 1 more...when i was a senior in college i watched all 10 seasons of friends in about a week over my winter break...thats crazy!...i mean really...who does that?!?...right now i am obsessed with survivor!...right after last season was over it was on sale on i tunes so i bought it...i never really got around to watching it but then the other day i decided hey why dont i watch some of this again...of course i couldnt stop until the season was over...(yay jt!...he's totally my survivor fobo!)...now i want to buy another season...but i dont know which one...anyone have any suggestions???...
twilight~> last fall i was completley obsessed with twilight...i gave up my morning nap to read...i couldnt wait to get out of work just so i could continue reading...and then the movie was coming out and i need to know everything there was to know about it...i absolutely LOVED all things twilight related...i even blogged about it every tuesday...then after all the hype died down i kinda forgot about it...of course i went to see new moon on opening day this year but i wasnt nearly as excited for it...so of course im still a fan of the whole twilight saga but im not going crazy about it anymore...
backstreet boys~> this is my longest lasting obsession...of course its more intense at times than others but i think its the one obsession i will never get rid of...ive been a fan since 7th grade what can i say...they are my all time fav and ALWAYS will be!!!
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