big brother is watching

last weekend (sat may 1) i decided to throw myself a birthday party...i really thought that the mayor and little one would be the only people in attendance...boy was i wrong...turns out people actually like me and wanted to come to my party...imagine that...haha!...i didnt know i had it in me to trow a wild party...i had tons of fun and im pretty sure everyone else did too!

unfortunatly bragging about how awesome my party was is not the point of this entry...i only mention it because its where i found out about an additional reader of my delightful little blog (bringing my grand total to 3...haha!!!)...i gained this knowledge because something came up about my train friends and then the following exchange happened:

me~> my train friends were here, did you see them?
big brother~> wait...that was concert guy?!?
me~> omg you read my blog!!!...haha...yeah it was concert guy!!!

just in case you are wondering who big brother is he's my super awesome brother in law...husband to big sis...and father to my little squish-a-lish!!! ive know him since i was about 9 or 10 and we have had some great memories along the way...and many times we are the only 2 who "get it" in the fam...its nice to know there is someone out there who knows when im being sarcastic...haha!...well anyways i love you big brother! <3...

now that i know big brother is watching i feel like theres extra pressure to write something good...and now i kinda feel weird talking about my potentially gay pretend train boyfriend...haha!...eh who am i kidding? im going to still talk about concert guy...so if you are entertained by that story line no worries!...ill keep you informed on any developments there...oh which reminds me i do have a new story about the train friends...look for that in the next few days!...all i have to say about it right now is wet hair girl is CRAZY (i really hope i never gave her the link to this)...haha!!!

in closing if there is anyone else out there who is reading this please let me know and you can get your very own cool blog name and post dedicated to you!

horoscopes

as you may or may not know i was born under the sign of taurus!...and boy am i a taurus!!!...if you look up those websites that give you traits of all the different signs i fit the taurus profile to a tee...stuborn...resists change...loyal...loves nice things...its all me...

i also like to read all about the love compatibility taureans have with other signs...i have discovered that i need to find a nice capricorn or virgo because those are the best matches for taurus...and i need to stay away from leo...those are bad love matches for the taurus (awesome friends! but bad love match)...oh btw...concert guy is totally a virgo!...can i pick them or what...haha!!!...

anyway...i know that horoscopes are silly but i cant help but look at mine on a pretty regular basis...sometimes i read it in the new york post...but most of the time i go to yahoo...i like to know what the stars have planned for me...haha!...today i read my weekly love horoscope and it said the following about the up coming weekend:

"this weekend, you have charm aplenty-- and the ability to asses what it is a certain someone's after, even if they're not saying"

interesting...isnt it?!?...lets look way too much into this shall we...haha!...im totally going to be charming this weekend because um hello its my 25th birthday party local edition!!!...so moving onto the second part is this saying that im finally going to be able to tell what is going on with concert guy?!?...i hope so!...im so over all these guessing games...since i obviously cant stop over analyzing im gonna neeed real answers a sap!...=)

wow...ive been on a blogging role lately...i wonder how long it will last?!?

okay so i lied...nbd...

last post (actually 2 posts ago) i said that i would stop over analyzing everything...yeah that plan isnt working for me...

friday night i went out with the train friends again!...we went to the breakfast club...so much fun!...but i couldnt help but wish my lifers were there with me...they're really the only ones who understand that i wear my sunglasses at night and i wanna dance with somebody!...my train friends dont understand why i love those songs so much and everything that goes with them!!!...omg i miss my lifers! <3...

anyway...i really tried to just be like well this this and this happened friday night and it is what it is...i even received a text from the mayor asking if there was any more questionable flirting going on and i said no because i didnt want to read into anything..ya know...i was doing so well until that text and then my wheels started turning...

after thinking about the events of friday night there is one thing that i cant let go...randomly through out the night concert guy would come over to me and kiss me on the forehead (and one time on the cheek which totally gave my butterflies...haha...)...what is that all about?!?... is it just like "hey friend whats up" like i would kiss my cousin on the cheek?...or is it "heeeyyy, i secretly want to kiss you for real"???...i just dont know!...and how do i find out what his true intentions are???...i mean i cant just say "hey concert guy, if you want to make out with me all you have to do is say so!"...cause what if its the first option?...we would totally be at awkward level 5 the upside down cow!...its hard to recover from that....haha!!!...

see this is why i need to stop over analyzing...i am a nut case...def off my rocker!...haha!...what do you think it means???...i need to know!!!...yeah im crazy...haha!!!...i guess i will just have to wait it out and see what happens next time we hang out...which hopefully will be at my birthday party saturday night!...he says hes coming but ya never know...if he does come the mayor said he will do some recon for me...and then he should be able to confirm or deny my level of craziness...

ummm...i wonder what would happen if someone let slip about my josie grosie situation....maybe concert guy would step up and put me out of my misery!...oh the imagination i have!...haha!!!...see, crazy!...oh boy...i need help...haha!

the mayor

ever since i realized that people in the bloggerverse use cool blog names for everyone they talk about i decided that i should follow suit...i think ive been doing a pretty good job...some are pretty original and others not so much...for the most part its pretty easy to figure out who im talking about if you know me in real life...haha!...anyway yesterday i realized that since i made the change i havent mentioned a super important person in my life...so without further ado i would like to introduce everyone to the most recent addition to my cast of characters: the mayor!

of course he's not really a mayor of anything...i choose this name because no matter where we are or who we're with he knows EVERYONE!...the kid has like 2000 friends on facebook and im pretty sure he actually knows just about all of them...thats crazy talk right?!?...or does everyone have 2000 friends and im just not that cool???..haha!...

the mayor is my super awesome little cousin...and by little i mean younger cause he beats me by about an inch in the hight department...haha!...we have had plenty of "ashley and mayor days of fun over the years"...we both graduated from the same school so we had many lunches together and agree that corey is the BEST sandwich guy ever!...we're competitive with each other over everything from fantasyteevee to who's our grandmother's favorite (ps its totally me!...haha!)...he's the only one who will actually phone five with me...i could go on and on about my buddy but i'll stop here...the fact is i love him and wouldnt know what i would do with out him...hes the closest thing i have to a brother!

the real purpose of this blog is to welcome the mayor to the blogosphere!...after reading my blog for a while he decided to start his own and share with everyone 61.4% of his life...haha!...you can check him out over at never give up ...so go there now and show him some love!!!

why are boys so difficult???

clearly i have more trouble than your average 24 year old when it comes to boys...well maybe not more but def different!...i have a hard time expressing any confidence in this area due to lack of experience...but how am i going to get any experience without having confidence in myself...its an evil circle im stuck in and im not really going to discuss it too much because i think i already have...and because im not here to throw myself a pity party...all i want to do today is examine the facts...

this weekend i went out with concert guy (as mentioned in yesterday's entry)...relax it wasnt just the two of us...although i wish it was!...hehe...it was concert guy, a few of his friends, wet hair girl and me...we went to v lounge in new brunswick...got lost going there and coming home...danced the night away...and had tons of fun!!!

as the night went on i came to the realization that concert guy probably sees me as a friend only...ugh...i had such high hopes for this one...there was ZERO flirting going on...not even things that i pretend are flirting even though they're really not...haha!...

i drove everyone there and he didnt even sit in the front seat...and it would make perfect sense for him to sit in the front because 1) he was the only boy and 2) hes like 10 feet tall (okay maybe not 10 feet but he is tall)...why would he want to sit in the back?...actually now that i think about it they probably planned that for reasons that have nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that i dont think they wanted to sit next to wet hair girl...oh well...but still no front seat...haha!...

another thing...i am a freakin awesome dancer! (i dont want to sound conceded or anything like that but its true)...i was whipping out some of my best moves and yet not once the whole night did he dance with me...maybe i was too good...yeah lets say that...haha!...at least on the way home he said how awesome i am about a million times...i dont think any of them were expecting me to be that good...i love the shock value...=)

so anyway i have decided that if concert guy just wants to be friends then thats okay...im done over analyzing every little move...if something happens great...if not oh well...its not any different from any other time in my life ive had a school girl crush on a boy...

my situation is what it is...its silly to dwell on it...i mean i passed pathetic a long time ago...now its just whatever this is who i am deal with it...so im moving on from constantly feeling sorry for myself...things will work out for me one day...but for now im going to be happy being just who i am! =)

dance class!

yay!!! finally im back in dance class!!!

the first class was last week...so much fun! we did all kinds of old school stuff and turns and time steps and salsa and just about everything else...i dont think i can express in words how much i really missed it!

after the studio closed my life became pretty boring...i went to work...came home...went to sleep...woke up and did the same thing the next day...ugh...so lame right...not only was i not in dance class but i wasnt seeing my friends as often as i used to...because they were my dance friends i would see them in class and it would be so easy to make plans for the weekend...but now we barely see each other...and i miss them!...so now that im back in class my life is slightly less boring...now i can say "i went to dance class monday night!"...and hopefully ill get to hang out with the lifers more often!!!...

tonight is the second class and i cant wait to get there!...im still super tired from lack of sleep this weekend but it doesnt matter...dance class trumps everything...even an extra hour of sleep...=)

oh and ps...sat night i went to a loungey/cluby place with the train friends...concert guy totally thinks im an awesome dancer!...and to that i say "please, i dont mess around...when i say im good...i mean im good!"...=)

happy 100th post to me!!!

yay!!!...i finally made it all the way to 100...(and yet i dont feel a day over 24...haha!!!)

i wish i had some type of AWESOME story to share for this monumentous blog posting...and if i wait around for one to happen who knows when i would be making this entry...so instead i just have some odds and ends for your reading enjoyment! =)

concert guy~> i am more confused than ever with him...this past weekend he texted me to see what i was doing...he said he was gonna be at one place and then going to another place after that...so i said im going to dinner with my sister but i will def meet him later...after dinner i texted him to find out is he was at place 1 or 2...i got no responce...wtf?!?...whats going on???...why would he invite me out and then not tell me where he was...thats weird right...or no...i dont know...i wish i could just say hey concert guy lets go on a date...but i cant because i cant let things get awkward...i still have to take the 713 and see him everymorning...uh oh...i hope hes not thinking the same thing...im sure hes not...haha...

my phone~> my trusty voyager is now broken...the hinge cracked so now when i open it to text (or write in my blog) the top flops all over the place...its really annoying...everything still works so its not life altering but im still really upset...haha...at least i can get a new one at the end of june...only 3 months to go...

sytycd~> there is a brand new format headed our way for season 7...im kind of excited about it...they needed to do something after the joke that was season 6...this topic will probably get its own entry so i wont go on too much about it...

backstreet boys~> little sis and i are going on a bsb cruise!!!...ahhhhhhh!!!!...its not until december so i have pleanty of time to talk about it...im sooo excited!...its like a dream come true! =)

birthday~> the big two five is quickly approaching (in 37 days to be exact)...i cant wait to go on my big disney trip!!!...i feel like ive been planing it forever...but its almost here and i am super excited to celebrate there!...also i've been thinking about having another party...a local one so everyone whos not going to disney with me and still celebrate...as far as im concerned there can NEVER be too much celebrating!!!

well i think thats it for now...i'll check in again soon...i promise!

i need to take flirting 101

hello there blog readers!

i have decided that i really need to learn how to flirt...i am clueless...and whats worse is i dont even think i would be able to tell if someone was flirting with me...this is def a life skill that i am laking...it would be helpful in accomplishing some of my boy related goals...dont you think so? i do!...haha!...

of course there's a story to go along with this new plan that took me WAY too long to come up with...(flirting...so easy...why didnt i think of it sooner???...haha!)

i have been hanging out with concert guy a lot lately (and by a lot i mean we hung out once like a month ago and then 3 nights in a row this week)...these past few times we were together i couldnt tell if he was flirting with me or not...lets examine the clues shall we...

1) he always makes a point to ask me to sit next to him

2) one night when i was leaving i went to say goodbye with the standard semi air kiss on the cheek...ya know just mwah and back off (this was my plan of action based on how he was saying goodnight to everyone else)...but he choose to go with the extended hug option after the semi air kiss on the cheek...(does this one even make any sense???)...the reason it makes the list is because thats the way i great or depart someone i care about...not just some train friend...AND i was the only one to get the extended hug...

3) saturday night concert guy told wet hair girl that his friend had a crush on her...before the friend came wet hair girl was getting nervous (which didnt really make a whole lot of sense because she lives with her boyfriend)...so concert guy said just relax and flirt with him a little...so she said i havent flirted with anyone in so long i dont know what to do (big lies...she flirts with all the boys all the time)...so concert guy was like its easy you can just touch his thigh, it means you're into him...and as he said it he was touching MY thigh!...the following was going on in my head: oh.mygod...really?!?...is he really touching my leg right now???...oh no what does my face look like? shocked im sure...good thing its dark so no one can see the bright red color im probably turning...i must keep my reaction under controll...lol...(wow am i a nut case or what?!?...haha)...instead of freaking out in my mind i should have said something clever...but clearly i couldnt think of anything...so anyway after the fact i started thinking was he doing that because he really was flirting with me???...he even said hey retard THIS means im flirting with you...OR was i simply just used as an example because i was sitting next to him (which brings us back to point number 1...haha)...im sure its the later of the 2 but it may not be...ya know...

4) well thats really all i got...there may have been other things but like i said im not the best at reading the flirt...haha!

as you can tell im a mess...if i was given a flirting test right now i would probably get a zero...haha...i need help kids...so if anyone out there knows of some type of flirting class i really need it...cause the more i hang out with concert guy the more intense the silly crush i have on him gets...i cant let another one slip away...i refuse!

wishy washy no more

at the time of my last post i was on the fence about concert guy...but now im off the fence and 100% in school girl crush mode...haha...also thanks to wet hair girl (and some facebook stalking...haha) i am now about 95% sure that my speculation is FALSE!!!...

so what does all this mean???...well nothing really yet...but there is a plan...so far everytime wet hair girl and i have come up with a plan reguarding concert guy it has worked...so lets hope this plan works too!!! would you like to know what the plan is??? well im gonna tell you no worries...haha...but first lets rewind a bit...before we really even met concert guy and wet hair girl would always say to me things like"i want you to date him" and "i would love to set you guys up"...i say no objections here!...so the plan is for her to start saying those types of things to him about me when they take the train home together and im not around...its almost perfect because i avoid any awkwardness and the seed gets planted in his head that hey im available...okay its totally lame but who cares right...at least its something...fingers crossed...haha!

also (this doesnt really have anything to do with the plan but i thought i would share anyway) i just realized today that i knew who concert guy was way before the train and way before the concert...when i was in college i worked at a summer day camp..this camp was located at a swim club...guess who was a lifeguard at the swim club...thats right concert guy...how weird is that???...i knew him before i knew him...i still cant get over it...

well thats it for now...let me know what you think...

untill next time happy blogging!!!

eh...maybe not...

so last week i was all kinds of excited over the idea of concert guy and the fact that i stepped up and actually talk to him...that was huge for me...but now that i think about it the chances of him turning from fobo to bofo are slim to none...if my speculation is correct then there is really nothing i can do that would make him want to date me...too bad for me...

of course i still want to be friends with concert guy...so far he seems like a good guy and i would probably have tons of fun with him if we were to hang out outside of the train...and he would be good to keep around if i need a wedding date in the future...ya know...hopefully we become closer friends...and maybe just maybe (even if my speculation is true) he wouldnt mind helping a friend out in the josie grossie department...that would be awesome...hey my deadline is quickly approaching so i dont have much time left...i'll have to work fast...haha...concert guy will just have to go on the accelerated program like bff did last summer (i felt like i knew him for years after just 1 month...lol...)...

so in closing...maybe i should start picking boys to crush on that i actually have a chance with...or maybe i should stop looking all together...they say it comes when you least expect it...but i dont care if i expect it or not...as long as its soon!!!